Okay, here is my Vimeo link:
When It Became Apparent (Rough Cut) from Tyler Errigo on Vimeo.
It's still processing so if for some crazy reason someone is waiting to click my link immediately, reconsider how you're spending your time and wait a second lol
I posted all the changes that are going to be made in the Vimeo description. I'm aware of graphical errors and yes, I changed my whole idea because I simply couldn't do the other one properly at this point in the semester.
Best,
- Tyler Errigo
So will there be more changes visually? As in will we something else or will we look at the sign the whole time? I guess personally I would love if there could be more to look at? Pictures perhaps? If you aren't changing the visual maybe it could be a bit shorter? I don't think the sound is too bad but if you get time I think it would be worth it to re-record it.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE your opening credit with the title--absolutely beautiful and well executed. Brilliant. Is this in 3D?? It looks really good. I also love that you panned over to the sign, allowing it to gradually become in focus. It works with the title. The sign and how it remains the same keeps with what you were saying about the signs and everything looking the same.
ReplyDeleteSuggestions: I think seeing nothing but the sign for the rest of the film works. However, I would keep the video to no more than 3 minutes so that it doesn't become tiresome. Take what's most relevant to what you're trying to say and portray that. You could add in photographs, but I would edit them a bit so they have the same look and feel as the video you've already made. Also, slow down when talking and breathe. It would be normal to talk that fast in a regular conversation, but in something like this, it's a bit overpowering and hard to grasp everything you're saying. Plus, with the snow falling and the atmosphere, the audio needs and warrants some slower audio. Other than that, it's really beautiful what you've done so far. I really do love it, and it has a lot of potential.
Story is awesome Tyler, sound is great, i dont think you need to change that at all. I have the same question as Kate, in relation to the sign. Did you take a picture of the pizzeria? If you did, I would like to see that maybe as the second half of your narration. Very good Story and The snow was a great touch man!
ReplyDeleteI agree about the story. Having been abroad, I can relate to stories like this. I think it's really effective and I can tell that had an impact on you by the way you deliver the story in the documentary. The static image does seem a little long, and maybe if it just shifted a little throughout, even without changing the image, it might add a little more to the visual.
ReplyDeletePar usual, you kill it with a deep feeling project. I don't usually like the artsy stuff but This is nice. Good job with graphics
ReplyDeleteNice animation work. The story is great and you deliver the script very well. The only minor critique I have is the snow. Some of the snow is like white static and a lot sharper than the slowly falling flakes. If you could reduce the opacity of these white pixels a little bit, your image might look even cleaner.
ReplyDeleteI loooove the voice over. I wish I could see the rest of the film. You have an awesome voice in your films (not your literal voice, but you know what I mean lol). Do you plan on adding another audiotrack? I think if not, rerecording and speaking a little slower would be helpful!
ReplyDeleteI must say, your graphics and titles were very well done! well written and the sound quality isn't that bad either. perhaps speaking a little bit slower. but that is my opinion. the speed of your speaking isn't an issue, as it is slow enough to digest. looking forward to the final thing! i loved how the story began and ended.
ReplyDeleteAgreeing with some other comments on here, the sound is really great. It made the over all impact of the film much stronger. Maybe some more changes in visual shots to keep the flow more interesting, but not really needed. Great video!
ReplyDelete